Heart for missions

As a freckle faced, 8 year old, little girl all I wanted to do was wear pig tales and be a missionary to a spanish speaking country. Now, 15 years later, I am twenty-three and on my way to live in the jungles of Peru as a full time missionary. This journey has been difficult and long. It has not at all been what I expected, but it is exactly what the Lord knew that I needed. For a few years, I gave up on my deam to be a missionary- I did not see the Lord opening up a  door and so I assumed that He wouldn't. Shame on me for giving up. :) During those years of having no idea what God wanted me to do, I worked at a small Bible college in Florida and gained a love for students in America. The Lord gave me a passion to serve in the youth group and to disciple young women. I was torn- my heart wanted to serve on the mission field, but the Lord did not have me on the mission field- He had me in Hudson, Florida. Did the Lord want me to stay in America and work a normal job...to stay and work in youth group? These ideas were foreign to me- I'd never wanted to stay and live a "normal" life.  Had the Lord changed my plans again? I felt so lost and confused, yet in a state of contentment at the same time knowing that the Lord would provide an answer. Sure enough- the Lord brought a dear friend Hilary into my life. She told me about her journey with a missions organization. She told me about how she had to chose between 2 goods and she knew that if she did not choose missions she would be living in disobedience. Sweet Hilary had no idea that these were the exact answers that I had been searching for. I battled with what to do for a few weeks, then finally couldn't sleep at night- I knew that if I did not apply to be a full time missionary that I was truly living in disobedience. Over seas missions is a huge part of who I am and the passions that God has instilled inside of me. Needless to say I applied and a few months later signed the contract.  Now as I have joined on full tme with PIONEERS I see how the Lord is still preparing me for His work that will be done in Peru. I know not what is ahead- but I know that God will provide. And I know that no matter what I face, the Lord will never give up on me.

"A good thing can become a bad thing if it is not God's best thing."